Director's Message
July - August 2013 My cat, My Father and MeI was visiting with my father recently, and he asked me when I was going to slow down. I didn’t have an answer. It’s just too hard to envision with a busy job, busy family, volunteer work, home and garden. I really don’t know how to do that.I know my dad is struggling with this issue too, because his 90+ year old body is telling him he has to slow down. But he, and many people I know, are having trouble getting comfortable with this reality of living into old age. My father gets satisfaction from creating things with his hands. We live in a culture that values independence and productivity. You are supposed to be busy doing something, supposed to make every effort to stay young and active. Yet with the benefit of improved healthcare, people are living decades past retiring from employment, then past the years of travel, volunteering or raising grandchildren. But bodies and minds can’t do as much as they did at 50. Do we have to maintain the pace? How do we slow down? How do we embrace these changes? Where can we find good models for moving gracefully into old age? Certainly not in popular media! Many can’t look to their parents, who did not reach their 90s. Do we know people we can watch and say, “that’s how I want to do it” when the time comes to slow down? Can we find satisfaction in activities that are not as physically or cognitively challenging? Can our communities and families create these opportunities for our elders? Can we find ways to honor and memorialize our lifetime achievements and legacy rather than end life focusing on the regrets for what was not done? How have you made this transition? I think that those of us who were raised in a Euro-centric, educated, middle class culture in the Mid-Atlantic region, are at a significant disadvantage. We have a lot to learn from other cultures where achieving elder statehood is revered, where it is acceptable to slow down and smell the roses, where elder wisdom and oral traditions are honored and passed down. We also have something to learn from my cat. She seems perfectly comfortable increasing the hours she sleeps or cuddles in a lap. She moves to the sun when she’s cold and to the concrete basement floor when she’s hot. She’ll play for a few minutes if she feels up to it, and some days has no more ambition than to chase a fly that’s annoying. She doesn’t feel guilty or apologetic when she accomplishes nothing all day long. A culture change is necessary as we prepare for the growth of the oldest segment of our population, those over 85, which is expected to double between now and 2030. There is a tremendous opportunity for those entering this demographic to become the models we need for old age. But they/you need our help and respect as they/you are once again our pioneers. Maybe I can learn to spend more time with my parents just watching the sunset from the porch. Enjoy your summer everyone! Hope to see you at TED talks!
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Previous MessagesJuly - August 2013 My cat, My Father and Me June 2013 - Age Friendly Communities May 2013 - Navigating a Changing HealthCare Landscape March 2013 - Navigating Life’s Transitions February 2013 - Partners in Caring Princeton January 2013 - Men as Caregivers December 2012 - The Safety Net October 2012 - Documenting Your History September 2012 - A Journey of Transformation July - August 2012 - Gratitude & Moving March 2012 - Patient-centered Care February 2012 - Can you Spare an Hour? January 2012 - Challenges & Opportunities December - Are you Prepared for Emergencies? October - Chocolate for Memory September- Looking Back and Looking Forward Lessons and Legacies, March 2011 Independent Living February 2011 Witness to my Life December 2010 Elections, benefits and open enrollment November 2010 Strategic Planning September 2010 Hiring Home Care December 2009 Annual Giving by Sharon Naeole November 2009 Flu Pandemic 2009 October 2009 Healthy Memory, Healthy Mind September 2009 A Personal Perspective on Caregiving July/August 2009 Wei Ji: Crisis, Danger and Opportunity April 2009 Write your own obituary March 2009 Hope and Vision in Challenging Times Medicare Changes 2008: Take A Look! December 2008 Scams, Frauds and Rip-offs November 2008 Engaged Retirement: Beyond Financial Planning October 2008 September 2008 Caregiver Dilemmas Finding Rhythm and Purpose July/August 2008 V + OA = ER (Volunteering + Older Americans=Engaged Retirement)May 2008 Have You Had the Talk Yet? March 2008 Get Moving with FitRhythms™! February 2008 What Are Social Services? November 2007 Plan for the Future September 2007 The Up-side of Aging Summer 2007 National Conference on Aging: Let's ReThink Aging April 2007 Season of Giving December 2006 April Hill McElroy October 2006 Civic Engagement September 2006 White House Conference on Aging May 2006 Are You Prepared? October 2005 Watch Your Language September 2005 The End of the Journey May 2005 New Dietary Guidelines February 2005 Civic Engagement with GrandPals October 2004 The Challenge of Giving Care May 2004 Seniors On The Move April 2004 Random Acts of Kindness December 2003 Civic Engagement November 2003 |