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Director's Message

June 2014 - Romance After 50

It has long been taboo to talk about sex and romance among older adults, but there is a lot more to say than fits on this page. First, let’s be clear that we all need to feel loved and to have physical and emotional intimacy throughout life.

 It is true that things change with age. Sex drive may diminish with changes in hormones, other health conditions and medications, but it doesn’t end! 71% of a recent survey of people age 50+ reported having a healthy sex life. 74% of men and 70% of women who are sexually active find it more satisfying than in earlier decades when they were raising children and working. Don’t be afraid that sex will harm your health. The key is adapting your practices and expectations to increase your pleasure. This may include more cuddle time, use of sex aides, creams and medications, and overcoming inhibitions to explore new practices. Intimacy is much more than orgasm, including pleasure, comfort and touch. 

 
Some people find themselves single by choice or unexpectedly. The Census Bureau indicated that in 2011, 15.4% (of those over 50) were divorced and 2.1% were separated. The divorce rate doubled between 1990 and 2011 for this age cohort. Possible factors include Boomer values and longer life expectancy. Divorce continues to put women at financial risk, especially older women without their own
 
Many others (13.5%) are widowed. Loneliness is common. Others are married to a partner with significant chronic illness or dementia, no longer able to be a life partner, whether romantically, or the many other roles held for years. Yet the desire for intimacy and companionship continues, creating an ethical dilemma. A recent study indicated that 31% of couples split up after the diagnosis of a serious illness, with men much more likely to leave.
 
Some people begin to explore dating. With the introduction of internet websites like Match.com and AARP dating, you no longer have to rely on friends for introductions. For some, this is an opportunity to find happiness you did not have before by knowing yourself better, your needs, personality, sexual orientation. 14% of those on Match.com are over 50. But be safe: don’t share your real name, personal phone number, work or home address or other personal identification data until you are comfortable. Use a separate email just for dating. And use safe sex practices (especially condoms)! An estimated 16% of new HIV cases are among people age 50+ and incidence of other STDs has tripled among people age 50-64 in the last decade.
 
More women than men choose to stay single. This may be because women are better at finding companionship with women friends or that it is more acceptable today to go out with friends. Also men are more able to marry younger women.Dating and remarriage may raise family issues, such as acceptance of the new person in your life. Children often feel loyal to their parents and may need help understanding your need for intimacy and companionship. You should also consider legal issues such as estate inheritance, financial responsibility for the remaining spouse, income and benefits, and what your legal (financial, property and medical) rights are if you choose cohabitation instead. Whatever your situation, don’t be afraid to acknowledge your needs for affection and explore ways to meet those needs. 
 
Sources and places to start further exploration:
 
Aarp.org (Dating in the Digital Age, Dating after 50….)
 
Match.com, gaydating.match.com, aarp dating, …
 
Huffington Post (Boomers & Sex 6/8/13, 6 Myths
 
about sex after 50 8/2/13, …)
 
Marketwatch.com (Marrying after 50- 2/27/13)
 
New York Times (Divorce after 50 9/30/13…)
 
Dr. Laura Berman blog (The ultimate sex-ed for
 
grownups, Til Diagnosis Do Us Part…)
 
Brick, Peggy et al, Older, Wiser, Sexually Smarter,
 
Planned Parenthood of Greater NJ, 2009.
 
Susan W. Hoskins LCSW
 
Executive Director

 

Previous Messages

Cues & Clues

Recharging

GrandPals Celebrate 20 Years!

Multi-generational Households

No One Ages Well Alone

Help at Home

Gratitude

November 2016 Family Caregiving

October 2016 Annual Report

September 2016 Corporate Healthcare

Strategic Planning

Is Your Home Age- Friendly?

May 2016 Director's Message Part 2 - We Need Your Help

May 2016 - Part 1 - Going Solo

April 2016 - Volunteering

March 2016 - Partners In Caring

February 2016 - PSRC's Strategic Plan

January 2016 - Hope

December 2015 - Gratitude

November 2015 - Helicopter Children

October 2015 - Is Princeton An Age Friendly Community?

September 2015 - Annual Report

July & August 2015 - Family and Community

June 2015 - A Gift that Keeps Giving

May 2015 60 Is the New 60

April 2015 - Spring

March 2015 - Being Mortal

February 2015 - Mentoring

January 2015 - Winter Blues

December 2014 - Leaving A Legacy

October 2014 An Age Friendly Future

September 2014 Annual Report

July - August 2014

June 2014 - Romance After 50

May 2014 - Your Virtual Estate

April 2014 - Memory and Forgetting

March 2014 - Aging in Community

Observational Stay

February 2014 - Family Caregiving

January 2014 - Attitudes about Aging

December 2013 - Giving

November 2013 - Healthcare Marketplace

October 2013 - Annual Report 2013

September 2013 - Total Brain Health® Fair

July - August 2013 My cat, My Father and Me

June 2013 - Age Friendly Communities

May 2013 - Navigating a Changing HealthCare Landscape

April 2013 - Becoming Visible

March 2013 - Navigating Life’s Transitions

February 2013 - Partners in Caring Princeton

January 2013 - Men as Caregivers

December 2012 - The Safety Net

November 2012 - Going Solo

October 2012 - Documenting Your History

September 2012 - A Journey of Transformation

July - August 2012 - Gratitude & Moving

June 2012 - Diversity

May 2012- Aging in America

APRIL 2012 - TEN YEARS

March 2012 - Patient-centered Care

February 2012 - Can you Spare an Hour?

January 2012 - Challenges & Opportunities

December - Are you Prepared for Emergencies?

November - We need YOU!

October - Chocolate for Memory

September- Looking Back and Looking Forward

July - August 2011; Ageism

June 2011 - Accessibility

May 2011 - Paper retention

Knit Wits, April 2011

Lessons and Legacies, March 2011

Independent Living February 2011

Home Safety January 2011

Witness to my Life December 2010

Elections, benefits and open enrollment November 2010

Retire in 3D!

Strategic Planning September 2010

Am I Old? July 2010

Memory Clutter June 2010

Aging In America May 2010

Volunteering April 2010

Spirituality March 2010

Estate Planning February 2010

Encore Careers January 2010

Hiring Home Care December 2009

Annual Giving by Sharon Naeole November 2009

Flu Pandemic 2009 October 2009

Healthy Memory, Healthy Mind September 2009

A Personal Perspective on Caregiving July/August 2009

TRANSPORTATION May 2009

Wei Ji: Crisis, Danger and Opportunity April 2009

Write your own obituary March 2009

Hobbies February 2009

Hope and Vision in Challenging Times
January 2009

Medicare Changes 2008: Take A Look! December 2008

Scams, Frauds and Rip-offs November 2008

Engaged Retirement: Beyond Financial Planning October 2008

September 2008 Caregiver Dilemmas

Finding Rhythm and Purpose July/August 2008

Spring Cleaning II June 2008

V + OA = ER (Volunteering + Older Americans=Engaged Retirement)May 2008

Spring Cleaning April 2008

Have You Had the Talk Yet? March 2008

Get Moving with FitRhythms™! February 2008

My Condolences January 2008

Advocacy December 2007

What Are Social Services? November 2007

Sensitive Topics October 2007

Plan for the Future September 2007

The Up-side of Aging Summer 2007

Volunteering June 2007

Strategic Plan May 2007

National Conference on Aging: Let's ReThink Aging April 2007

Brain Health March 2007

Resiliency February 2007

Transportation January 2007

Season of Giving December 2006

Medicare Part D November 2006

April Hill McElroy October 2006

Civic Engagement September 2006

Change June 2006

White House Conference on Aging May 2006

Hearing Loss April 2006

GrandPals March 2006

Lets Talk February 2006

Eldertopia January 2006

Hoarding December 2005

Annual Report: November 2005

Are You Prepared? October 2005

Planning Ahead October 2005

Watch Your Language September 2005

Medicare Part D Summer 2005

Sue Tillett June 2005

The End of the Journey May 2005

Clutter March 2005

New Dietary Guidelines February 2005

Transitions January 2005

Funding December 2004

Caregiving November 2004

Civic Engagement with GrandPals October 2004

A New Look September 2004

Safe Driving Summer 2004

Food Safety June 2004

Communication June 2004

The Challenge of Giving Care May 2004

Seniors On The Move April 2004

Depression March 2004

McGreevey February 2004

Medications January 2004

Random Acts of Kindness December 2003

Civic Engagement November 2003

Reverse Mortgages Oct 2003

Emergency Preparedness, Jan 2003


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